| i don't think i really want to kill myself. i just don't want to hurt anymore. i hate feeling like this. i'm so alone. i'm so pathetic and stupid. i hate myself. i was starting to think maybe i was getting better, but today i'm back to feeling like shit. it actually seems like my heart hurts.
The past three days have been sufficiently stressful. I don't really know if I expect anyone will wat to read this long passage, but it does get pretty interesting. My life is a fucking soap opera.
So now,here I come again..I'm so bored with my life.All of what I am and who I am is nothing but a mess.I'm trying and trying so hard to make myself feel better but I'm not happy.Sadness,sadness and grudge is ruling my heart.I hate,I hate love him,I hate rude people..because everything's not seeming to be alright everything's broken and I'm lost.I don't have options to choose from rather but to make my ownself feel better though what's really happening with my life is all these mistakes and bullshit things.But I never decided to cut myself,I won't slit my wrists coz it will just worsen the pain and will make me feel so stupid.I want to get out from this melancholy,I want to breathe peace and love,I want to be feel loved .i dont want to be taken for granted..i dont want someone will lie to me and make me believe of something which is completely a lie.. i want someone who helps to bring out the best in me i want some1 or i NEED someone rather who will make me very happy.I want to get out of this depression..this lonely life I'm living.I wanna change my lifestyle but I dont know how to make my own decisions..and I don't think I could escape from this,I don't want to be damaged,I don't want anger to rule me..I just want to escape from the hateful emotions which are trapping me and won't make me happy.
i know i'm not perfect..if you can't make me happy.. please just let me go.. this is too much torture.. i dont deserve this.. i deserve to be happy or happier either............ |
